Stress with those guys

can sumone tell me y do i have to handle all this stupid guys... who simply dun understand my intention... my intention is clear... i want to be fren.. but y do they still have the intention of getting hooked up with me... they noe i love my first x... they noe i'm waiting for him.. they noe there's no possible way that they can get me... coz my heart is close for all except my x...

there's this guy.. initial Z... jus get to noe him few days ago... but suddenly without me noeing he have heart for me... his intention was to be serious with me... can sumone tell me if its possible or not... jus noe for few days... less than a week... already want to be serious with me... n expecting me to give a positive answer out of it... he's willing to wait though he noe i'm waiting for my x... he keep on remind me abt wat he had told me before... aiyah abt his sincere intention... hai... i dunno la... stress!!!

i'm happy with my life rite now.. though my x was jus my freind now... though he's normal n i'm normal... but i'm just glad that we still contact each other... we still able to talk... yes! i do miss him.. miss everything abt him.. but having him in my heart n mind... i gues i can live with it... jus with that, i can move on smoothly... jus the thought of him make my day so nice... wats more having him to crack a stupid joke n make me laugh... totally make my day... i noe that its impossible to get back together.. but with my love for him, i bet everything is possible... jus like wat he told me before... if i can wait for 4 years... y can't i wait another few more years... true enouf...

Everything Seems OK!!

for the past few weeks, i've been thru a lot... lots of changes happened.. lots of action takes place... ppl come n go.. memories return without being notice... been thru happy n sad moment...

for once i thought i've found the man... but i thought wrong... he's not mine.. he never stay for long.. we r jus meant to be frenz... sad coz i have fall for him.. luckily its not deep... still a shallow one... so its goood to leave earlier ... confess earlier before any pain come into my life again.. enouf with the past... easier said i've lost my new fren.. they never seem to stay with me.. i dunno whether they r sincere enouf with teh friendship.. i dunno.. n i dun care...

n now i live with my memories again... jus so happen i lost that particular sumone, my memories of nas start to come back... automatically... n eventually he start to call me... we contact again... finally i realise my love for him is too strong.. n its the one thing that can cure my pain in life... though i try my very best to convience... i gues i dun need to... now i feel so comfortable with the way things were.. i can finally accept the fact that its hard to get back... n yah as usual i'm willing to wait.. be patient... thats the important thing... i never feel so lost when he's not ard... never feel so tense up when i dun get to know sumthing... i never get so worried when we never meet up for weeks or month... the only thing that matter is that we contact again.. it doesnt matter if we never meet up every week... coz i beleive we need changes in us.. n i bet its doing to be a major changes... even now i can sense the changes... emotionally, physically n mentally... i'm preparing myself for the better or for the worst...

wish me luck... jus thx to my couzins n family n some of my faithfull fren who give me support thruout my life... been thru with me during my ups n downs...

Road Of Life

Dark is this shallow emotional feeling known to me as pain.
My soul reveals scars and tears that enchant you to my loneliness.
Emptiness was my only friend.
Scared to feel and love I mixed myself in other people's love.
Just to taste a bit of this feeling that I heard strangers speak of.
Caught in other people's fantasies and eager to live my own.
At sight of love I fell innocently entranced into its web.
Not knowing deceit was the web made of.
I now feel the pain that people cry for and so many cry of.
I inhaled love and for two full moons I knew what love meant.
You created passions in my soul that were never born before.
And when I sighed I exhaled dust for love has been replaced by dust.
So when I speak of pain I speak of tears I shed for love I needed.
I speak of days I died over and over to reincarnate in a new love.
Love erupts pain in me and I get lost in myself to think I found love.
Because I could love flesh and soul in you more than in myself.
I speak of forever for I know we are soul mates when time stops.
Because love is dominant and our happiness is eternity.
So may forever be and bells ring in our future.
For we met destiny and we ride the road of life in each other’s eyes.